Sunday, April 8, 2012

Dispelling some misconceptions...

1. I don't need an SAT tutor... where the heck did this even come from? You want to spend over a thousand dollars on some standardized test instead of some VERY PRESTIGIOUS MATH PROGRAMS? Are you serious? Really? Really? I'm glad we had this argument.

2. "Study harder." Are you freaking kidding me. I have some very long and self-righteous rants to insert here. Did you think my 99% on my physics final was an accident? (I only have one reader here... I think, so I'm not bragging... promise... I'm just mad.) Did you think I got the highest score in NSML because I was lucky? And that chance brought me to be assigned in 2-person? Do you really think I do hours of math just for fun? Is is just your genetically passed natural talent that has just donned me with one of the highest gpas in my grade? Do you really think that I didn't work to raise that C+ I had in physics?
Its not like you didn't have the time. Freshman year. Didn't I get a 98% on my AP World final so I could bring my A- to an A just so you would be happy? And then I did the same thing again for you in HAA. The chemistry teacher didn't just feel like giving me a silver test tube or recommending me as her top 2 students to take the ACS. Do you remember how many hours I spent studying for AP Exams? Too many.
I know these accomplishments feel insignificant. They are, actually. I'm happy I did those things, but honestly. As if God will give me a lethal papercut with my report card. Narrow. Minded.

3. "Focus is everything." God is everything. Get out.

4. "Attitude is everything." God is everything.

5. "You are not mature enough." Thanks. Arguably, neither are you.

6. "Take care of your body." No. No way. I don't run twenty miles for fun. I don't do hundreds of pushups and lunges simply because I love the pain (I do, but that's not it...). Have you seen my leg muscles? You've been there, creepily watching every single practice I have, where I've cried from fatigue. Do you know how much weight I've gained because I've had to sit and eat meals that should never have entered my body? Do you know the devastating impact on my spiritual and emotional life your "care" has had? I never had binge-eating, depression cycles, and meal plans this severe. I don't remember the last time I ate lunch at school. Actually I do. It felt terrible. Its been a long time since I've hated my body and face so much (although this is usually temporary; sometimes I think I look good... sometimes). I'm trying to care for my body. You're trying, but utterly, utterly failing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX5rnABqem0&feature=autoplay&list=FLJG8OG0QPf3lO6GgMJEjFvA&lf=plpp_video&playnext=1

Yes... that was a very... mature rave. Sorry.

2 comments:

  1. You're like the smartest person I know. Like legit. :\ It's okay to be not mature if your parent's aren't being mature too... IMO. It's just to make a point.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks... I think. Point taken.

    ReplyDelete