Its so relieving to be back. I am spoiled, so I'm not going to complain about having to think coherently at 7 am, because more likely than not, most good teachers and managers and workers to the same at 5 am. I look forward to this stabilizer, the one good 30 minutes in a semester of hates last year.
God is so good. I'm too blessed.
Other note. I have missed other people. Finally, I have awoken myself to laughing at bad jokes. It could be the relaxed curriculum changes in physics, but finally, I'm not falling asleep and instead am thinking and conversing with, le gasp, other students. Finally, I've taken a few moments out of my own wasted time to catch up and even pretend to be bright-spirited, so we can be friends again. The cold is no longer an excuse, the food is no longer the bait (actually it is. It is becoming not the bait though). People are not disappointments.
For the first time, I have made myself truly vulnerable. I told a considerably large following of people about the roots of becoming so worn, and the responses were surprising. It was not my Christian friends who replied emphatically but the people who only tolerate my beliefs. I asked for prayer, and what I received was incredible care from the most unexpected people. It throws me, actually, that the one person who I had been mildly and silently cursing an hour ago was the one who shared my story with a resource to my benefit. I am humbled, and for a few seconds, tear-stained.
Is it just the holiday spirit? I feel my curses slowly draining out of me, and it makes me ecstatic. Freedom is my theme this year (I called it after Arrival last year... ha), and finally, I am opening my eyes to service once more. It feels so good to be back. It feels so good to be alive again.
No comments:
Post a Comment