Maturity.

The past week has led me to several (un)fortunate and thoughtful conclusions, all of which are due to something related to math. To my regret, I'm no good at math, at least not compared to IMSA students, and these minor epiphanies have led me to two things:
1. Well actually I have to apologize for my usage of the word "things". The word is vague and totally nondescript. I dislike it unless I'm trying to be secretive, as I should be on this blog, but have currently given up.
2. To become more depressed. And I just forgot the two things to which the two minor epiphanies led me.

Some things I have learned:

ICTM Regionals: I am a horrible person. My school makes me practice every morning at 6:50 for two months and I performed exceptionally poorly in everything I did that day. It was a deeply humbling experience, although I have two sleepless nights to blame. I did however, gain bloody and ripped jeans, a disfigured knee to contaminate with dirty badminton court floors, and a C+ in physics. Cool.

School: I knew after acknowledging my five borderline grades since week 1 of this semester that I should not be doing math team homework during class. Class, however, is stiflingly boring and repetitive, and math almost never is. Again, its a horrible shame that I am still no good.

NSML Conference: I am a horrible person. I have the highest score in my class for NSML and that I performed surprisingly well this past season (I totaled 53 points last year, but  I suppose its fair to take into account my annual winter depression; I totaled 114 points this year, out of 125). In my counter-ego's defense, I bombed #3 and have not been able to stop thinking about those two pooping questions since I promptly solved them after the contest. For tears.
In addition, I have several pleasant experiences from math team, a great majority of them stemming from the NSMLs, not state math team or ARML. Definitely not ARML.

Math class: Due to my extended annual depression, I have been making careless errors (in both math and life) without fail in each and every assessment. I was perfect once. Once. Still, despite my seemingly relentless streak of Bs, I can without hesitation assert that math class this year has always been my favorite class. It is not just because of the math, because if it was, I would also want to do the homework, which I have no motivation to do whatsoever. It is at least 20% (I'm rounding down so people don't think I'm a fan girl) because of our teacher. He is uncorrupted by marriage and children, and that is, without a doubt, the best attribute I have yet to find in a teacher of any subject, second to being an Asian American. I learn how to speak more in math class more than I ever learned in speech class, and I rarely participate. I prefer wallowing contently in numbers.

Also, since I will be turning 16 soon, I've decided to upgrade my blog to higher level language, which mostly means less emotional outpourings and definitely less adjectivial uses of the word "poo".