Charlie Brown, you're so cool...

Well, I'll be!
...How about that?
I'm not used to having somebody listen to what I have to say!
You don't like me, do you?
I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try and hit you back.
(You are a shrewd judge of human nature, Charlie Brown. -Violet)
I think I'll just lie here until the first snow comes and covers me up.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE HAPPY?
Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown, your faith in human nature is an inspiration to all young people.
Lucy

Which would you rather see me have... crooked teeth or a warped personality?
Linus

Want to eat?

Not tumbling this. Too personal for that.

Addictive Personality

Who would have guessed that health class would be interesting? I have my criticisms, but regardless..
So there was a speaker called Larry. He was an alcoholic who got addicted at 8 years old. He partied hard and apparently, doesn't regret his life of more more more more. More alcohol, more drugs, more sex, more pills. Beer vodka wine pot weed crack (are those the same things...) sex sex pills pills. He just wanted more.

And I think about myself. If I were raised in an alcoholic family, I'd probably be just as addictive. I would want more and more. Just give me one thing, one thing with carbs, and it will be gone. A week's worth of egg bread? Gone in one afternoon. A loaf of raisin bread? Gone in the morning. A bag of carrots? One night. A box of tomatoes? Afternoon snack. Sushi buffet? Leftovers are mine. I can eat it all. But it has to be the same. Throw in a strawberry, I'll reject it. Meat for the bread, I'll throw it away. Icecream? Not even a consideration. Even bubble tea, I'll dump it all down the drain. All four dollars and fifty cents. Sometimes I wonder what will happen when I have even more control of what I eat.

Tomato Face

Her face was red hot. Not body hot, just temperature hot. Hot like he was holding candles to her cheeks.

What an embarrassment she was. How embarrassing she was to herself, to the boy, to her friends. All she could do was stutter and blush. Hot hot hot hot hot. Sometimes it was worse than hot - it was hot lukewarm. When everyone could notice but it would never fade away from her cheeks.

It is because I eat too much, she thought to herself. Calories = heat. When I am full of fat, I blush. When I am fat, I blush. Fat fat fat. Blush blush blush.

So she began not eating. So she began to be not fat.

In time, her face became pale. Yellow, beautiful pale. A pale so smooth and light that she said to herself, yes, finally you are pretty. What a smooth complexion you have. Everyone will like you now.

But when the time came, and the boy stood in front of her, she still blushed. Red hot. Temperature hot. Hot like he was holding candles to her cheeks.

So she ate less. So she was not fat even more.

In time, she lost her hair. It came out in tufts when she combed it with her fingers. She lost her period. Her chest was flat. She used the bathroom too often. But that was okay, because she could weigh herself in the bathroom. 103 pounds. When it was more, she cursed herself and threw away her lunch. When it was less, she praised God and threw away her lunch. Because she could be not fat even more.

But when the time came, and the boy stood in front of her, she still blushed. Red hot. Temperature hot. Hot like he was holding candles to her cheeks. And one day the boy did not stand in front of her anymore.

But I am not fat, she cried. Look at me! No one is not fat like me.

She was 94 pounds when they took her to the hospital. Her BMI was 16.5. It was her best record so far.

The doctor was fat. The doctor asked, how many calories do you eat a day?

About 1000, she said. But I am always full.

Well, you can be full on cake or full on watermelon, the doctor retorted. 1000 is way too little. Peanut butter. That is the solution. Spread peanut butter over all of your bread. Do not buy the reduced fat kind.

Well, you are fat, she thought. She did not eat peanut butter. But already her hair was a quarter gone. Her chest was still flat. She used the bathroom too much.

So her mom took away the scale. And she ate more than 1000 calories a day. She was afraid because she was becoming fat, but she wanted her hair back. She wanted her womanhood back in sight. She wanted to use the bathroom regularly.

Many days, she hated herself. She thought, you are fat. You are fat and you are still red. But many days, she prayed to God. She prayed, help me, God. Restore my body. Only you will restore my body. She read the Bible feverishly. One hour a night. That was how long she used to spend tracking calories, reading articles about how to lose weight. How to be not fat.

God restored her one day. Her hair was strong. Her period came back. She used the bathroom like everyone else. 110 pounds. 1500 calories. Soon she turned 13 years old.

Don't Hate, Appreciate

There aren't any good posts on Tumblr about what I want to say. 

"——家好瘦噢！但是我觉得——还可以。"

Family is so skinny! Except me. I'm okay.

Except me. I'm fatter.

"哎哟，好装噢！"

How strong she looks!

How big I look! How well I'm fed! How much I eat!

"妹妹...吃一点巧克力吧。" It's white chocolate. Its good for you. 

Have some cherries, little girl. Eat more, granddaughter. You like the sauce, don't you? Hey 小姐, let's get another dish of this! You want some ice cream? It's really good here. Look! I bought ice cream just for you guys. This is really high quality ice cream. You're sweating so much - want to buy ice cream?

McDonalds is the best. It is good to have everything once in a while. Is that all you're eating? Stop eating, save some for Mom. That's enough, I need this food for work. Want half of my fish sandwich? Salad again? Drink some water. Why not? You must have read somewhere that water is bad for you. The most important thing is to be healthy. The reason your stomach hurt was because your eating habits are horrible. You need a lot of energy to play a sport. Athletes have to eat more. You have black circles under your eyes when you come home from practice. Go outside to run. You ran for an entire 40 minutes? That's a lot. Eat some fruit. I always eat something before I go to sleep so I don't become hungry. You don't eat enough fruit. Fruit is good for you. There is nothing wrong with this cereal bar - its not sugar, its honey. Nuts are good for you. It's okay to eat that much. I love it when you eat my food. I made these muffins out of beans - they're unbelievably low calorie. You would not believe what I put in these. Eggs have too much cholesterol - its bad to eat more than two a week. You have to eat your egg - everyone is eating one. Are you a health freak? Have some fun. Enjoy life. You should eat more. You have to finish those fries before we leave. Its taking so long for them to make that veggie burger because no one ever orders it. Fish is good for you. Watermelon has too much sugar. You can't have more than a handful of almonds a day. You eat too little at dinner and too much afterwards. Bubble tea will give you cancer. I don't want to get too bulky with muscle. I'm not wearing this belt for aesthetic purposes - I've been noticing my stomach bunching up, and I don't like that. Can you finish the rest of my carrots? Fat! We'll tell you if you're gaining too much weight. Anorexic. I know about you. I love you, so you should love yourself. I'm taking five pills a day. When do you eat? Do you even know what taurine is? Do you know what's in this can of Monster? I eat a lot at home. Eat what I baked for you - you have to. That's all the rice you have? Even I'm eating more than you. There is so much protein in eda mame. Tofu = boobs. For skinny girls, there is bean curd. I know something about badminton that you don't - it'll make you boobs better. Prune juice is the best cleanser ever. Caffeine stunts your growth. 

Stop. Just stop. You don't know anything.