If I noticed before, the word sexy hadn't come to my young mind yet, but now it does. And it's true. It may help to have nice boobs to thrust outwards or hips to push forward. Image matters, but its nothing without the attitude. Nothing more strikes the shock-tone chimes of my heart than solid self-possession. Dat spunk. Tenacity. Daring. Dashing, handsome man. Just kidding. I'm just using thesaurus.com (free advertisement!) now.
Recently, I have met a couple people whose esteems are like sandbags. They're too squishy and movable for good use unless they're washed over by a wave of water (metaphorically people, compliments, accomplishments... money... stuff) that will allow them to be anchored by the sheer force and weight of the water. But the water dries. These people are lucky when God rains down some blessings, but he takes away too. Blessed be his name. (check dat play on lyrics...haha)
Sometimes, I'm still a sandbag. But I'm done believing that I'm stuck being one. I used to be one that thought a strong (fisher)man could move and support me (I'm just extending the metaphor...so you will have to excuse my parentheses), but the only strong man, who happens not to be really a man, is God. Then I was a sandbag that tried to live off of essentially no water at all. Those attempts were always immediate failures (although not as much so on ARML tryouts. dang ARML). Hopefully I won't be any sort of sandbag in junior year. I've been sort of YOLOing my first weeks as a junior.
Not that my intention is to be sexy. Of course not.
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