Pythagoras

MIND.
BLOWN.
TO.
PIECES.
15. 112. 113. Talk to me.
And I did not even know about these:
20, 21, 29. 11, 60, 61. 12, 35, 37. 13, 84, 85.
le gasp... 35, 612, 613...
17, 144, 145. 19, 180, 181. 21, 220, 221.
Shocked by something so obvious. Amazed.

Ender's Shadow..

Super book. But also:

"It is not a bleak existence, Carlotta. For I can celebrate God's great compromise in making human beings as we are."

"Compromise?"

"Our bodies could live forever, you know. We don't have to wear out. Our cells are all alive; they can maintain and repair themselves, or be replaced by fresh ones. There are even mechanism to keep replenishing our bones. Menopause need not stop a woman from bearing children. Our brains need not decay, shedding memories of failing to absorb new ones. But God made us with death inside."

"You are beginning to sound serious about God."

"God made us with death inside, and also with intelligence. We have our seventy years or so - perhaps ninety with care - in the mountains of Georgia,  a hundred and thirty is not unheard of, though I personally believe they are all liars. They would claim to be immortal if they thought they could get away with it. We could live forever, if we were willing to be stupid the whole time."
"Surely you're not saying that God had to choose between long life and intelligence for human beings!"

"It's there in your own Bible, Carlotta. Two trees - knowledge and life. You eat the tree of knowledge, and you will surely die. You eat the tree of life, and you remain a child in the garden forever, undying."

(pg. 170)

"Genesis tells of me who lived to be more than nine hundred years old. What it does not tell you is how very stupid these men were."
Sister Carlotta laughed aloud.

"That's why God had to destroy humanity with his little flood," Anton went on. "Get rid of those stupid people and replace them with quicker ones. Quick quick quick, their minds moved, their metabolism. Rushing onward into the grave."

"From Mehuselah at nearly a millennium of life to Moses with his hundred and twenty years, and now to us. But our lives are getting longer."

"I rest my case."

"Are we stupider now?"

"So stupid that we would rather have long life for our children than see them become too much like God, knowing… good and evil… knowing… everything."

(pg. 171)

"Do you know why Satan is so angry all the time? Because whenever he works a particularly clever bit of mischief, God uses it to serve his own righteous purposes."

"So God uses  wicked people as his tools."

"God gives us the freedom to do great evil, if we choose. Then he uses his own freedom to create goodness out of that evil, for that is what he chooses."

"So in the long run, God always wins."

"Yes."

"In the short run, though, it can be uncomfortable."

"And when, in the past, would you have preferred to die, instead of being alive here today?"

"There it is. We get used to everything. We find hope in anything."

"That's why I've never understood suicide. Even though suffering from great depression or guilt - don't they fell Christ the Comforter in their hearts, giving them hope?"

"You're asking me?"

"God not being convenient, I ask a fellow mortal."

"In my view, suicide is not really the wish for life to end."

"What is it, then?"

"It is the only way a powerless person can find to make everybody else look away from his shame. The wish is not to die, but to hide."

"As Adam and Eve hid from the Lord."

"Because they were naked."

"If only such sad people could remember: Everyone is naked. Everyone wants to hide. But life is still sweet. Let it go on."

(pg. 287)

FUNKYYYY. What do I think of this.

Panic! not at the disco

When I panicked like a deranged insomniac, I slept... and ruined myself again!
But this week was better. Well. The last 2 days have been better. So praise God. Praise God for Oasis and people and ice skating and friends and parents and hot pot.

Dear God

I know that I stray. Sometimes you show me the way.
God won't let me purge. It hurts me so much, but I am amazed at how powerless I am today. So so powerless.

New Year's Post!

Totes cool. 10:44, with an urge to post. Maybe because I don't have my devo stuff at this hotel. More likely because I HAVE TO WRITE and I don't have a journal with me. Or a pen. Or light. So blogger it is.
Okay. This semester.
Math: Beansauce. Can't wait. I'll probably be a little bored but I mean. Korean teacher. What can go wrong?
AP Government: I hated AP World. But the memories (I revisited them today... watched our final project). Who knows. Probably just one of those go-with-the-flow classes that will still induce a lot of stress in the end because of some borderline grade.
Bio: I'm determined to like it more. Please.
French: Whatever.
Lunch: Will eat. Leggo!
AP Art: I'm actually struggling with my concentration right now..
Physics: Baby. Yes.
Gym: Good. Perfect for warming up before season.... I hope.
Badminton: Varsity! Totes happening. Can't wait to bust this out... although I'm making Coach P. a promise. 5 sets of 20 pushups AND 200 lunges for every match I lose. And if practice is too easy... do it again. Hooray! (But seriously... seriously)
God: Love peeps. Oasis, friends, team, teachers. No hating this year. Minimal gossiping. True love is sacrifice.
SATs: Gotta get above 2300 for the 'rents! Dad is snoring right now. So awk awk awk.
Math team! Can't wait. Geometry every single morning. So much win win win. This is so good. God's gift for 2012 :]