There are no such things as close answers. There are only right and wrong answers.
In math, anyway.
Anyway, Amy Tan, in your book, Joy Luck Club, Lena mentions being fashionably anorexic at the age of 13.
Woman, there is no such thing as being fashionably anorexic. There are sick anorexics and dead anorexics, but there are no fashionable anorexics. Anorexia nervosa is the most deadly psychological disease. It's not about the body anymore - it's all the in head. Do you know what self-torture in which anorexics induce on themselves? The hate, the fear, the way they are ruining their lives by bringing their metabolism to a standstill, their beautiful, God-given bodies to flat prunes, and their gorgeous hair to oily, balding heads? Fashion isn't even a consideration when you are killing yourself.
As for the people who don't keep their promises like me, well.
We're dumb.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Fat
Halloween is in 23 days. 23 days, and les quartiers (neighborhoods sounds stupid today) will be full of Twizzlers, Nerd ropes, Hershey bars, and select few toothbrushes. Maybe some ya zhou jia will be giving out fortune cookies again.
Last year, choco fat started on Halloween. When tu pense le gras ne viendras pas, YOU ARE ONE SCREWED LITTLE BOY OR GIRL. Invincibility just isn't our thing. Last year, I 69%ed a test after mealing on chocolate and I changed the course of the rest of my freshman year when I blew math team tryouts.
LE GASP LE GASP I GAVE OUT MY AGE AHH.^
Math team means a lot around here, jsyk...
This post is just a reminder. Don't be a fou. Imbécile. Cot. Digging myself out of that trench took half of year... and I don't want to live like
a bulimic that doesn't throw up ever again.
Last year, choco fat started on Halloween. When tu pense le gras ne viendras pas, YOU ARE ONE SCREWED LITTLE BOY OR GIRL. Invincibility just isn't our thing. Last year, I 69%ed a test after mealing on chocolate and I changed the course of the rest of my freshman year when I blew math team tryouts.
LE GASP LE GASP I GAVE OUT MY AGE AHH.^
Math team means a lot around here, jsyk...
This post is just a reminder. Don't be a fou. Imbécile. Cot. Digging myself out of that trench took half of year... and I don't want to live like
a bulimic that doesn't throw up ever again.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Try Again
I was wondering if God was convicting me to go outside or if I really just wanted to buy a bag of M & Ms for my friend. Blue skies. I was leaving my friend's house (after dropping off a bag of fun-sized M & Ms that were $1.40 off for $3.05 - tax) and awkwardly stumbled upon an old Chinese woman. I didn't expect anything; traditionally, Asians walking in the same path cross each other without eye contact or even a smile.
"yi che shi shi?" she questioned.
"...我...听不懂." I was bewildered. Old Asian women don't speak to strangers...
But she continued. I began to recognize a dialect of Chinese spilling from her mouth. She certainly recognized my response. She was lost. Mumble jumble poop. She'd been walking for two hours. Mumble more jumbo poo. Her house number was 1744. Heck, I was lost in her words. I didn't know how to help her. The closest 1744 house was 5 miles away across two very large intersections Asian old women would never, ever cross.
I ran back in the house and asked Mr. Friend's Dad to help. He was lost too, mostly because the woman didn't know her phone number or street. The confusion persisted for an hour.
Mr. Friend's Dad stepped inside.
"I don't know what to do. Here are the last names of her daughter and son-in-law, but these are very ambiguous spellings, and I have to work. She said she is going to go try again."
I rushed to the window to see Old Woman ambling away.
"TRY AGAIN?" I screamed. "This is not a small neighborhood where you can just TRY AGAIN."
By the time I got off my arse, the woman was gone. I didn't know which way too go to find her. I wish I had prayed with her. I got on my bike, chose a random direction, and began a very unsystematic method of search, driven purely by hope.
Half of a mile later, I stopped. What am I doing, I thought. I am really a dumb one. I pulled out my phone and called Friend2 without thinking.
"FRIEND2," I shouted, really in the mood for shouting. "Do you know anyone with the last name LASTNAME?"
"Uh... yeah. Why?"
"There was an old Asian lady walking by Lauren's house and she was lost but she doesn't know anything except her daughter and her son-in-law's last name and she doesn't know her phone number or address except that the number is 1744."
"Wait. What? Can you say that slower?"
"REPEATREPEATREPEAT."
"Oh. I'll ask my mom. Can I call you back?"
"..............................Yeah."
So then for no reason at all, I turned around and biked in the opposite direction, driven by more hope and a little more logic from inquiring the neighbors.
Cell phone vibrates.
"HI."
"Hey, do you know where the old lady is?
"No... I'm biking in a right direction to find her right now."
"Okay, well we found the family. It's them."
". ."
". ."
"Okay?! What else?"
"Can you call when you find her?"
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."
Hang up. I biked another 2 miles before the phone vibrated once more.
"CHINESECHINESEDAUGHTERFRIENDBIKEFOUNDYOURDAUGHTERSTREETNAMECALLYOURMOM."
I stood there listening. . "Wait. 我的妈妈?"
"Oh. This is Beaburz? Sorry sorry sorry. Okok. Are you still in your neighborhood?" (Chinese)
"No I left. I'm biking trying to find her."
"Oh. That's good. I'm going to give your phone number to the family so they can call, okay?"
"Okay... Thanks." (Still Chinese)
Bike more. Uphill downhill preschool school. Grass and trees and fleas and knees. Cell phone vibrates.
"Hello..."
"Hi. This is NAME. I just want you to know that I found my mom while I was driving. Thank you so much for the information so we know where to look. We were just driving around and around the neighborhood. Thank you so much. Thank you so much."
"Thank God thank God. You're welcome. Okay thank God. Okok bye."
Story of the day hope you liked it I'm tired okay GOD IS GOOD
7:35 am September 28, 2011: See You at the Pole
Johnathan Mann (http://twitter.com/#!/jonjonmann) prays at Naperville North High School for students to be light.
8:50 am September 28, 2011: Throughout Naperville North High School
"yi che shi shi?" she questioned.
"...我...听不懂." I was bewildered. Old Asian women don't speak to strangers...
But she continued. I began to recognize a dialect of Chinese spilling from her mouth. She certainly recognized my response. She was lost. Mumble jumble poop. She'd been walking for two hours. Mumble more jumbo poo. Her house number was 1744. Heck, I was lost in her words. I didn't know how to help her. The closest 1744 house was 5 miles away across two very large intersections Asian old women would never, ever cross.
I ran back in the house and asked Mr. Friend's Dad to help. He was lost too, mostly because the woman didn't know her phone number or street. The confusion persisted for an hour.
Mr. Friend's Dad stepped inside.
"I don't know what to do. Here are the last names of her daughter and son-in-law, but these are very ambiguous spellings, and I have to work. She said she is going to go try again."
I rushed to the window to see Old Woman ambling away.
"TRY AGAIN?" I screamed. "This is not a small neighborhood where you can just TRY AGAIN."
By the time I got off my arse, the woman was gone. I didn't know which way too go to find her. I wish I had prayed with her. I got on my bike, chose a random direction, and began a very unsystematic method of search, driven purely by hope.
Half of a mile later, I stopped. What am I doing, I thought. I am really a dumb one. I pulled out my phone and called Friend2 without thinking.
"FRIEND2," I shouted, really in the mood for shouting. "Do you know anyone with the last name LASTNAME?"
"Uh... yeah. Why?"
"There was an old Asian lady walking by Lauren's house and she was lost but she doesn't know anything except her daughter and her son-in-law's last name and she doesn't know her phone number or address except that the number is 1744."
"Wait. What? Can you say that slower?"
"REPEATREPEATREPEAT."
"Oh. I'll ask my mom. Can I call you back?"
"..............................Yeah."
So then for no reason at all, I turned around and biked in the opposite direction, driven by more hope and a little more logic from inquiring the neighbors.
Cell phone vibrates.
"HI."
"Hey, do you know where the old lady is?
"No... I'm biking in a right direction to find her right now."
"Okay, well we found the family. It's them."
". ."
". ."
"Okay?! What else?"
"Can you call when you find her?"
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."
Hang up. I biked another 2 miles before the phone vibrated once more.
"CHINESECHINESEDAUGHTERFRIENDBIKEFOUNDYOURDAUGHTERSTREETNAMECALLYOURMOM."
I stood there listening. . "Wait. 我的妈妈?"
"Oh. This is Beaburz? Sorry sorry sorry. Okok. Are you still in your neighborhood?" (Chinese)
"No I left. I'm biking trying to find her."
"Oh. That's good. I'm going to give your phone number to the family so they can call, okay?"
"Okay... Thanks." (Still Chinese)
Bike more. Uphill downhill preschool school. Grass and trees and fleas and knees. Cell phone vibrates.
"Hello..."
"Hi. This is NAME. I just want you to know that I found my mom while I was driving. Thank you so much for the information so we know where to look. We were just driving around and around the neighborhood. Thank you so much. Thank you so much."
"Thank God thank God. You're welcome. Okay thank God. Okok bye."
Story of the day hope you liked it I'm tired okay GOD IS GOOD
7:35 am September 28, 2011: See You at the Pole
Johnathan Mann (http://twitter.com/#!/jonjonmann) prays at Naperville North High School for students to be light.
8:50 am September 28, 2011: Throughout Naperville North High School
"At approximately 8:50 AM today Naperville North's fire alarm system was activated when a main transformer located outside of the building malfunctioned causing a power outage. Students and staff successfully followed the established procedures for evacuation of the building. The Naperville Fire Department arrived on the scene and determined the source of the alarm. There was no fire in the building, but a small amount of smoke was detected in the basement where the lines enter the building.
While the building has been cleared for re-occupancy and backup generators are supplying power to phones, emergency lighting and the fire alarm system, NAPERVILLE NORTH WILL CLOSE FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY WITH PLANS TO REOPEN TOMORROW."
http://schools.naperville203.org/north/
See you at the pole next year.
While the building has been cleared for re-occupancy and backup generators are supplying power to phones, emergency lighting and the fire alarm system, NAPERVILLE NORTH WILL CLOSE FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY WITH PLANS TO REOPEN TOMORROW."
http://schools.naperville203.org/north/
See you at the pole next year.
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